Mikhail and Tatyana in Kyiv, Ukraine, participate in World Jewish Relief’s project supporting the relatives and carers of people living with dementia. Mikhail is 81. His family spent huge amounts of money to fight, what was to them, this unknown disease, believing it could somehow be cured.

Tatyana was ready to try everything, even unconventional methods, in a bid to “return” her husband to his former self. But nothing helped. He continued to deteriorate over 10 years, as dementia is a progressive illness. He could not remember anything, even the names of his grandchildren. But at the same time, he retained an interest in life.

World Jewish Relief’s project to support people with dementia and their relatives, came at the right moment for them. Tatyana began to better understand the nature of vascular dementia and use a person- centered approach. She realized she could not stop the progression of the disease, and stopped feeling ashamed of her husband’s illness. They resumed inviting guests over for the holidays. She involves Mikhail in household chores and other tasks to keep him occupied. Mikhail is proud that he hoovers the carpet well, makes the bed, picks vegetables and nuts at their summer house, draws water from the well, and cleans vegetables for dinner. Tatyana emphasizes that without his help, she would struggle to cope, which gives Mikhail a sense of purpose.

He is able to join in with online activities run by the Jewish centre, but not for long as he gets tired. Staff prepare individual exercises for him. He loves word games, as well as playing chess. Mikhail always feels hungry, so food is prepared in portions for him in the fridge and there is always something on the table to snack on. His favourite hobby is looking through old photo albums. He remembers his colleagues, relatives, places he has been. Often he cannot remember someone, but his wife helps him.

He is not fully aware of the ongoing military events. Hearing about the war on the news, he says to his wife with surprise: “Can you believe it, Russia attacked us!”

But when he walks in his favourite park, he sings: “Russia is my homeland …” (a famous Soviet song), forgetting that there is a war going on.

The family did not leave Ukraine and their home because of Mikhail’s dementia. During shellings, Tatyana had to leave the house to go to the pharmacy and the supermarket. But every time she worried what would happen to Misha if she came under fire.

During this period, World Jewish Relief and our partners helped the family with medicines and food packages.

“Thanks to the project, I feel that I am not alone. Through training for caregivers, I have gained a better understanding of dementia. I stopped worrying and being shy. I stopped believing charlatans and experimenting with drugs for dementia. I see that Misha is not the same as before, but he is still kind, cheerful and that helps me a lot. We are together and that’s what matters. Thank you for this project, for the timely knowledge and recommendations we got which make us more prepared and resilient. I really love our group and all the staff. For me, the creative groups are an outlet from our difficult everyday life.”